


Shards

by Albion19



Category: Frozen (2013)
Genre: F/M, Marriage, POV First Person, Queen Anna, What-If, secret
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-06
Updated: 2015-01-12
Packaged: 2018-02-24 08:47:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2575361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Albion19/pseuds/Albion19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anna and Hans marry and rule Arendelle together, Elsa having renounced her throne. Despite the endless winter Anna is happy but soon cracks begin to appear in her relationship, cracks that reveal an awful truth. AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Once my sister abdicated, unceremoniously handing over the rule to me, a great wall of ice grew around her palace, so huge that you can see it from the rooftops of Arendelle. Elsa has shut me out almost our entire life but this barrier is not one of alienation but protection. She doesn’t mean to inflict this winter on us, I refuse to believe that. She’s just…lost. But that doesn’t mean defeated or helpless. No armies can scale a thousand foot wall of ice and so none can hurt her.

I take comfort in that, even if we have never been more apart…and yet sometimes I feel like Elsa’s presence is all around me. It’s in the snow that blankets the square, the flurries that blow gently against the window panes and the tiny, beautiful shapes of ice that circle me when I wade through the gardens. It’s her way of saying sorry, of showing me she’s still there. I just wish I could do something to show her I care, that I’m thinking of her and love her. She must be so alone…

Hans thinks she’s done the right thing. Even if she had the power to undo what she has done she could still be locked in a cell or worse. They think she’s a witch, a dangerous enemy and nothing I say will make a difference. I’m the queen and I would never let anything happen to her but the fear and distrust of the people is sharp and I have to think of them too. The guests from our neighbouring countries are still trapped here, though the ice cutters from the mountains work day and night to free their ships. If they saw my sister forget locking her in prison, they’d kill her on the spot. It’s not only the governance of my country that has been disrupted because of the winter.

So I have them to deal with, keeping my people warm and fed and the constant, never ending question that I don’t have an answer to. When will the winter end? How the heck should I know? I want to admit that I’m just as uncertain as they are but I can’t. Being a ruler means putting a thousand people before your own doubts, wants and needs. You have to be strong of heart.

Hans is so much better at this than I am, he’s a natural. We’re the same; he never expected to rule a country and yet he does so as if he’s been preparing for it his whole life. It gives me strength because if he can rise to this hopeless occasion then so can I. I watch him and all the worries and fears melt in the heat inside me, the initial spark I felt at our first meeting now like a blaze that will never go out.

He will make a perfect king…and once the ice is thawed in the church, an even better husband.

* * *

 

The morning of the wedding had been bright, the skies blissfully clear of cloud but the light shining off the pure snow was blinding. I suppose I must have glittered like a round white bauble in my wedding dress and I had an impression of people squinting at me but truthfully the day is a blur, I didn’t even feel the cold. I wish Elsa was here, we sent an invitation weeks ago, but I know it would be dangerous for Elsa to come today. I just wish she would send me a sign, let me know if she’s happy for me or not…but do I really want to know? It’s my wedding day, I should be ecstatic and I am when I just focus on the things in front of me. I never thought I would be this happy after what happened but the murmur of the priest, the clapping of the guests and the soft kiss had been like waking up after a long sleep.

The banquet hall is filled with talk, music and laughter and though the food is not as lavish as it should be for the occasion I can almost believe that there is no snow outside. People need this. I need this…

“I wish we could do this every day,” I say, gazing at Hans who sits besides me. We are sat at the high table, starter and main course eaten. There is more ice-cream and chocolate before me than I know what to do with. I  _think_  I can handle it.

“What, get married?” he turns his face to me against the backrest of his seat and his eyes glitter with a deep look of contentment. There’s no snow outside for him either.

“All of it. I wish we could take this moment and just live in it forever.”

“Me too…” he trails off and his eyes slowly rove over my face until the corner of his mouth curls softly. “You’re my wife,” he whispers, as if he just realises. I smile when he brushes my face gently with his fingers and I lean into his touch.

“Did you forget already?  _Should_  we do it again?” I scold softly, leaning closer to him playfully and a hot glint appears in his eyes. He leans down, his mouth almost brushing mine when someone clears their throat loudly, spoiling the moment.

The Duke of Weaselton, or whatever it’s called. What is wrong with the man? I want to fire him across the frozen sea back to his country at the best of times but now I feel like the old goose should try walking. The sea air might do him good. I know it’s cruel but he’s done nothing but fear monger and complain since he’s been here.

“Apologies, your majesty. I just wanted to express my congratulations on this happy day and to apologise for not bearing gifts. If I had access back to my own country it would not be a problem,” his watery blue eyes flick sharply between us, his meaning plain. My patience snaps.

“If we had access to other countries I’d be honeymooning on a beach somewhere but we can’t have everything can we?”

The Duke splutters and Hans grips my knee under the table. I try not to laugh at the Duke’s look of consternation. I don’t care, it’s my wedding day. Hans leans forward.

“We understand your frustration and like everyone we hope that the ice will thaw in time. The ice cutters are working as hard and fast as they can and I’ve personally seen to it that your ship is a priority. Don’t worry Duke, you’ll see Weasletown again.”

“Weselton!” The Duke corrects in a strangled voice and turns away with a sharp bow.

“Right…” Hans sighs and then chuckles quietly under his breath once we’re alone. His fingers flex against my thigh and a sudden flare of heat races from my stomach right up to my face. I’ve been dreaming about the approaching night, of truly being alone with Hans, until I felt like I would explode like a firework. All heat, friction and frustration. Will he be surprised at this want inside me? Is it lady like? I know what the night  _should_  entail and yet I really know nothing. I’ve never had anyone to tell me and even if Elsa were here I doubt she would be much help in that regard…

“Just have to see…” I sigh and Hans cocks an eyebrow.

“See what?”

“Nothing. I mean, well…” I trail off, heat flooding my face and I feel shy under his scrutiny. Sometimes I get the feeling he can look at me like I’m made of glass and see every whirling thought and feeling inside like smoke.

His lips curl teasingly. “What?”

“We’ll  _discuss_  it later,” I stress and he grins before bringing a goblet up to his mouth. We finish the desert, people dance before roaring fires and as fresh snow begins to fall again we bid the guests goodnight. They clap as we leave and I can’t stop grinning like an idiot. Elsa would never…but then I’m not my sister.

* * *

 

His hands are cold and I gasp when he lays them on my bare skin. The bedroom is warm, the fireplace alive with dancing fire and candles flutter as we pass them. I thought I would be the nervous one, not Hans.

“You’re so small,” he says as I lean against the end of the bed. He takes a few steps back, staring at me and I look down at myself. The beautiful wedding dress had been removed before he entered the room, as were the pearls and diamonds that pinned up my hair. It took my maid so long to pin my hair that I almost cried when it all came down. I stand in a thick muslin slip and wavy hair bounces around my shoulders. White and orange, I probably look like a lit candle. Dynamite would be more accurate.

“Compared to you but I’m tougher than I look,” I pull myself up to sit on the mattress and hold out my hand for him. He hesitates before coming forward, taking my hands in his. They’re still cold and I rub them.

“The first time I saw you I knew you were for me, before I even knew who you were. I didn’t come here expecting that…” he whispers, staring into my eyes with an intense look, as if he’s trying to persuade me of his feelings. I smile and bring his hands up to my face, cupping them in my own and blow warm air against his fingers.

“I knew, before I saw you. I knew I’d meet you. It was fate,” I press my lips against his knuckles, staring up at him. “Thank you for being there for me.”

“Thank you for letting me in…” he slips his hands out of mine and cups my face. “I mean it Anna, before I even knew your name,” he breathes and presses his lips to mine. I wrap my arms around his neck, opening my mouth under his and deepen the kiss. He tastes of wine and berries. His arms circle my waist, lifting me up against him and I break away with a smile.

“You can’t fool me, I know you’re only here for the royal jewels,” I tease and he sighs theatrically.

“You got me. Care to show me the way?” he grins, a wicked flash of teeth in the low light and then boldly lifts me up and throws both of us onto the bed.

The coldness fades from his touch as if it had never been.


	2. Chapter 2

That night a terrible storm blasts Arendelle, a blizzard the likes of which has not been seen in years. It completely submerges tiny cottages nestled on the mountain sides, which thankfully have been abandoned. Snow piles up against windows and doors, cracking hinges and glass panes with a freezing cold my sister unleashes. The fjord freezes, the ice spreading even further and undoing all the effort the ice cutters have done to free the ships.

I wake completely ignorant of all this, in fact if a snowman got up and did a waltz across the throne room I don’t think I would have noticed. True happiness can be blinding, I never thought that would be the case, I thought everything would be clearer, sharper but I feel like I’m floating around a dream and he’s the only thing that is real.

He sleeps peacefully beside me, his face turned towards the window. A fine, soft mist hovers every time he breathes out and I sit up and touch the back of his hand. Cold. I lean over him and press my icy nose against his cheek and he stirs. We found a way to keep warm throughout the night and the memory brings a warmth all of its own.

“Good morning,” I whisper, trailing a strand of hair down his nose and he smiles, eyes still closed.

“Is it morning already?”

“Yup. I have a very keen sense for the sun. If it’s up I’m up,” I push myself against his side and his hand slips under the cover and grips my waist, pulling me closer.

“Good to know,” he opens his eyes and glances at the window, which is completely covered with snow. “No wonder it’s so cold. Looks like another snowstorm. We must have slept right through it.”

“Yeah,  _slept_ ,” I tease him and the corner of his mouth curls. There had been no time to sleep, though I think I may have tired him out. I think I’d like to do it again. “It is cold and I can see you’re tired so I’ll light the fire,” I sigh theatrically, sit up and throw the covers back. I gasp as the cold air hits me but I don’t have time to shiver when he grabs me and pulls me back down.

“I’m awake,” he growls and leans over me and I laugh at him. We are so balanced, so synchronised that I thought making love would be the same but it revealed a side to Hans I have only really glimpsed. He can take charge of a situation with an easy command and maybe he expected that. I think most men do, they’re probably told the same things we are…not that I know anything really, only the giggling whispers of the maids and Gerda’s short sermons about being a good wife. I only really had to go on my dreams and fancies and well, I think Gerda would have a heart attack if she knew what they are! The night had been a give and take of constant motion, power never held absolutely by him or me but shared. It was wonderful and I don’t think I will ever stop wanting him.

I am, to put it lightly, insatiable.

I straddle him, fingers gripping his hair as he sits back against the headboard. His kiss is gentle as his hands slide up the nightdress, gliding the fabric against my skin. I shake my head with a smile, rising up and he lets the fabric fall back. I grind down against him, making his fingers flex on me but he doesn’t push me down. It’s cruel to tease but he makes such a cute frustrated face I can’t stop myself. He’s patient, me not so much, so I like to see how long he can withstand it, before  _I_  can’t take anymore.

His hands grip the sheets either side of us as I swivel and start to slowly buck against his hardness. I brush my lips against his and back away, making him chase after a kiss that I won’t give him. Not yet. Hans growls again and his hands are back around my hips and he pulls me against his chest. I laugh, throw an arm around his neck and reach down between us with the other, teasing him again until he moans and whimpers against my neck and shoulder. Once he starts to beg I lower down and press my lips to his. I want him in me, I feel like I’ll explode if he isn’t. As our mouths part in a gasp a sudden noise shatters the silence. Someone is banging against the door.

“Who is it!?”

“Forgive me your majesty but you told me to wake you for the council meeting. Given the storm it’s now an emergency summit,” Kai says apologetically through the door. The council meeting. Whose stupid idea was that? Oh right, mine.

“Oh – okay. I’ll – I’ll be right there,” I say as his footsteps fade away. I stare at Hans. Neither of us speak or move, we don’t even breathe but then like a rope snapping I crush my mouth to his and he thrusts into me and pushes until my back hits the mattress. The bed creaks hard and fast, banging against the wall and I imagine how scandalised the nearby lady in waiting is but then pleasure blasts through me and I pretty much stop thinking about anything.

* * *

I listened to the warnings of the council, listened to the reports of dwindling supplies for the people living in the mountains and the delegates ships marooned in the ice and every suggestion I give is batted away politely but with clear dismissal. I am Queen but I’m also eighteen and never has that fact been clearer. I will not sign away my title and Arendelle will not fall into the hands of some regent, which is what I think most of these politicians want. I can do this.

“I think Anna – I mean her majesty – is right,” Hans interrupts the chattering and the old men around the room stare at him in shock. What’s their problem?

“Thank you. We can send word to a neighbouring country and they can send some of their icebreaker ships. The ice cutters have done all they can, they’ve been worked to exhaustion.”

“By the time one of those countries gets our plea for assistance we’ll all be frozen to death!” an old, crooked man says and I know he’s right but I still resent him. I’d say something if I knew his name…or any of their names really.

“I understand the need to be realistic but giving way to nihilism is not productive. We have to try everything in our power to save Arendelle,” Hans says with conviction and I feel a hot swell of love for him. The same cannot be said for the council who again stare at him as if a bear just stood up and spoke. Amazed and kind of repulsed.

“My husband is right,” I say and I hear a muffled laugh and stand up. “What’s funny?”

“Oh nothing your Majesty,” the old man says. “We’re just not accustomed to having the consort of the ruler at these meetings, let alone contribute to it.  _You_  are our queen your majesty,” he says with surprising kindness and all my anger fades away. I look at Hans with a squirmy pity. He stares expressionlessly into the distance before he stands slowly and smiles graciously at the men.

“Thank you for listening to me for as long as you have. I hope you’ll take to heart what the queen has said,” he bows to them and then deeply to me.

“Hans, I’m sorry,” I reach out to him as he moves away and he stops with a smile.

“You have nothing to be sorry for. They’re right, I’m just the Prince Consort,” he smiles again but the faintest bitterness edges that smile. I watch him walk away and my heart sinks for him.

“You’re not just anything to me.”

* * *

Did I imagine him to be a king, to sit equal height with me? Of course, that’s how I imagined it was between my parents but now I see that I’m wrong. My mother had to always walk two steps behind my father and now Hans must do the same.

It’s just the way it is but it’s only when we are in public. Alone, in our wing of the palace we are equals but for all his humility I can see it chafes at him. I understand being in someone’s shadow but I hope that’s not how he feels. It’s been a few weeks since the council meeting and every single day I’ve needed him. Hans is important, not just to me but to Arendelle and I know I can’t do this without him.

“We can share my work load,” I say, dropping a pile of letters on the desk before him. He cocks an eyebrow and picks up a scroll sealed with wax.

“What, do you need me to be the royal seal breaker?” he asks tersely and I roll my eyes.

“Haha! I have so many of these that I need to read and answer. I need your advice so I don’t start a war by mistake or something,” I get on the desk before him as he sits back in the chair. He taps the scroll against his chin.

“I don’t think the council -”

“This has nothing to do with them. Politicians deal with politics and queens deal with everything else and never shall the two meet. Anyway, I’ll pay you handsomely,” I lift my stocking clad feet up and rest them against his knees and he rings his hands around my ankles.

“Yeah? Well I’ll have to take it under consideration. I’ve got quite a few offers you see, you might not be able to afford me…” he sighs and then pulls me off the desk and onto his lap. I place my finger against his lips before he can kiss me.

“Don’t get so ahead of yourself. I’ll need to see your credentials first mister.”

“Oh I think they’ll be to your liking…” he pulls my hand away and kisses me softly. The letters, the ships and the stuffy politicians are forgotten and I only come back to reality when Gerda comes in to stoke the fire. I slip off his lap, face red and straighten my dress. Most servants have the ability to ignore things they shouldn’t see but not Gerda.

“If you want to take a tour around the town then you better go before the sun gets any lower Anna,” Gerda says fussily and I nod. Hans frowns ever so lightly but says nothing as he rises to his feet.

“Thank you Gerda, I’ll accompany her majesty,” he says formally and Gerda nods once and leaves. Once we’re alone he frowns heavily. “She’s very familiar with you.”

“Oh Gerda has always been like that. She and Kai basically raised me and Elsa.” I stare out of the window and across the frozen water to where I know my sister’s ice palace is. I have tried not to think about her for the last few weeks, not since the wedding and the storm that came after it but I can’t escape her. She’s in the very air.

“You okay?” He asks as he puts on his gloves. I smile, nod and then shake my head.

“I miss her and I worry. I wish she would just come back home.”

“You know if she could she would. She’s up there to keep us all safe,” he reasons and I know that but it doesn’t make the pain any less. Once Elsa realised that she could not end the winter and that any place she could run away to would just meet the same fate she walled her mountain in ice and I haven’t seen her since. Her palace is beautiful but for the longest time I thought of it as a prison while she called it her haven. It’s neither, it’s a mausoleum and it waits.

A year ago, heck a month ago, I never thought I would be so…morbid but I suppose experiences have a sobering effect. Having said that Hans is right, it’s important not to be so gloomy. Things will get better, we just have to try. I won’t leave my sister to die, nor the people of Arendelle.

* * *

We walk towards the gates and the misty town square beyond, passing shivering children and familiar market sellers and I try to smile at them but it’s rigid on my face. I’m warm, dressed head to toe in furs but I know many go without. So many people are now out of business, so many cold and hungry but they still bow and smile at me as we pass. Arendelle trades many things but saffron is our most prized commodity. But with no crocuses to make it trade is impossible, even without the impassable ice. If this winter was down to anyone but Elsa I’d call it sabotage.

“What are we gonna do?” I say to myself and Hans squeezes my hand gently and I tug myself out of my thoughts. I smile at him, an odd horrible feeling whirling inside me. “You don’t regret coming here do you? I don’t blame you if you do. You left your family, your home. They must be wondering what’s happened to you.”

“Anna…” he breathes and moves closer to me. We are standing by the harbour, very close to where we first met. “You are my family, this place is my home. This is everything I ever dreamed,” he laughs as I pull a face. “Okay I could do without the snow but I mean it. This is all I want.”

“I love you so much,” the words fog in the air, hover and disappear as he pulls me against him and kisses me. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: gets grim...

Every winter children made snowmen and the courtyard would become a war zone, snowballs whizzing through the air accompanied by laughter, screams and shouts of the unluckily adults who didn’t get out of the way quick enough. There were two factions, the palace children and the town’s children. I used to sneak amongst them, my identity hidden and for a few crazy, wonderful hours, I was just like any other kid.

It was so fun, so treasured, because we all knew it wouldn’t last. The snow would melt and we’d be a year older. I don’t think the cold, bored faces of the children looking at me now feel so assured. These kids only build snowmen to destroy them and I can’t fault them that. At least they have a way to vent their frustrations. I don’t think it would be seemly for a queen to throw a snowball at the face of the Duke of Weaseltown.

“What if I just throw a little one at him?” I whisper as the Duke finally stops pestering me about his ship and leaves. Hans chuckles, shaking his head and leans down to kiss my forehead.

“I have to go. The ice cutters are trying to melt the ice with fuel from the palace. I’ll oversee it.”

“How much are we paying them?” I have wondered this. They have been working as hard as anyone and yet they’re just these small groups I spot from the top of the palace, labouring on the ice. I haven’t actually thanked them.

“Enough,” he says and pulls away. I grab his arm and the smile on his face falls.

“We’re doing enough, aren’t we? People aren’t, you know, suffering are they?” I see the people of Arendelle every day and while their morale may be flagging they look healthy at least.

“Anna you have nothing to worry about. Look at you! You’re wonderful. You think other rulers would be out here helping? Most would shut those gates and not come out until the trouble had gone.”

He kisses my face again before he leaves and I do feel a little better. He didn’t actually answer my question but I don’t feel so worried. If anything drastic happens they would tell the queen.

The sun sinks as a family takes the soup that I offer them, along with an extra blanket, and I smile. They offer a weak one in return. Every day I help where I can, give out warm clothing and food but it seems the need for provisions increases more each day. We don’t have an endless supply, though I know the palace is stocked for a two year siege. However, that’s enough to feed a palace, not a whole town.

“Oh Elsa, if you can hear me could you just help me out a little here…” my plea floats up into the air in a white cloud and the wind carries it away. I sigh; turn to Gerda who is ready to head back in when a cloaked figure approaches me clutching a bundle of rags. She lowers her hood, revealing a young but very thin woman who mumbles something and I lean forward to hear.

“Cold. So cold…”

“I know I’m sorry. Please warm yourself by the fire,” I motion to the flames, the woman moves into the light, and I get a good look at her. Her sunken eyes are wide and oddly vacant and her mouth is set in a strange half smile that makes my skin crawl. Suddenly a deep, primal fear floods through me and I want to be as far away from the woman as possible but I can’t move.

“Queen Anna?” Gerda asks, her voice hushed and she moves to the woman’s side and peers down at the rags in her arms. She jerks back with a gasp, clutching her chest and a strange sob escapes her. Every horrible, terrible doubt swells up and explodes insides me and I reach forward but Gerda gently pushes the woman aside, an arm around her shoulders.

“Gerda?” my voice shakes.

“I will look after this woman your majesty. You – you should go back in before the night settles,” she says with her usual sternness but her voice is too high.

“But I -”

“Please Anna, leave this to me,” she says firmly and smiles sadly at the woman and helps her to slowly walk towards wherever she lives. Horror pulses inside me like a drumbeat and I want to forget it, to pretend it hadn’t happened but I can’t.  Nausea sweeps through me and the courtyard spins but I keep my feet. I feel so young, so helpless and it makes me so angry. I am a fool, a useless little girl who can’t even keep my room tidy let alone keep a country together.

That woman, that poor woman…there must be more like her. The poor who I never set eyes on, the ill and the homeless. The poor children. Do I help them, are they housed, warm and fed? How many people have died because of this winter?

How many have lied to me about it?

*

I walk for hours, I don’t know how long, I search through the poorest areas of Arendelle, walk through places I hadn’t even known existed. The mountain slopes, the places furthest from the town and palace, the places amongst the pines where the snow is thickest and the wind moans through the trees and cuts through my clothes. They told me these cottages were abandoned, that the inhabitants had moved in with hospitable families in the town and I had no reason not to believe them. The people are kind but they are also stubborn, especially the very old. They have withstood winters and maybe they thought this was no different but it is. It’s magical, unnatural and no spring will thaw it.

As the northern lights swoop in brilliant green ribbons above me I stare up at a snow drift. I’m not sure how long I spend looking up but when I hear footsteps crunching behind me in the snow I turn and my neck is stiff.

“Anna!” Hans drops a burning torch and struggles through the deep snow to me. His arms envelope me in a crushing embrace. He has never held me so tight. “What are you doing out here?” he asks, pulling back.

“Look. Do you see what’s above the snow?” I point and he squints.

“I don’t know…a chimney?”

“Exactly. There’s a  _cottage_  buried in the snow,” I stress and he shakes his head.

“Maybe…but what does it matter?” he asks, honestly confused.

“Because someone might be frozen to death inside!” I shout and he shushes me, staring up at the mountain warily. Sobs start to wrack me, until my chest and throat hurt and tears freeze on my face.

“Shush, it’s okay. This isn’t your fault,” Hans presses me against his chest, hand rubbing my back but I don’t feel comforted, I still feel angry.

“People have been – been lying to me! Treating me like a child! I never wanted to be queen, I never dreamed of it but I am and I’m trying so hard! I thought I could handle it, I thought if I at least helped I would be doing  _something._ I feel like a fool…” I cannot say anyone, my throat tight with sadness.

“What’s got you so upset?”

“People are freezing to death,  _children_. This woman and her  _baby_. Oh god…” I squeeze my eyes shut and push myself hard against his body. I will never get that woman’s face out of my mind. Never.

“Please listen to me. None of this is your fault and no one thinks you’re a fool. The elderly, the sick and the very young die during winters every year. It’s horrible but it’s just a fact. We do as much as we can but we can’t control everything Anna,” he says gently and I lift my face. He smiles, wiping my cheeks. “You’ve had a shock, a nasty one. Let me deal with this until -”

“No!” I interrupt and pull out of his arms. “I know you mean well but no. I won’t give up on the people who need me. If you want to help me you’ll make a report about the poor and homeless in this town, you’ll find out the truth and we’ll come up with a solution together. We’ll start tomorrow.”

He stares at me in silence for a long time before he bows with a small smile. “As you command.” He moves back as I stumble back down the hill but I feel his hand on my elbow when I almost fall. We walk back down the mountain together.

I feel like I leave a part of me frozen up in the trees, never to return.

*

In the three months since Elsa froze Arendelle and escaped into the mountains over a hundred people have frozen to death. There may be more in remote regions but we will never know until the snow thaws.

I think the people have been so accommodating and understanding because none saw the terrible repercussions of Elsa’s magic. They were fed, warm and their families safe and they looked out for their neighbours. Not until the shroud covered carts came down from the mountains and passed through the town did the awful truth hit them. This winter has not only imprisoned us but taken life too.

I can understand their anger, their need for answers and for something to be done but what options can I offer? Find a way to free the ships and then we all leave? Abandon Arendelle to this icy doom?

Leave Elsa?

I can’t. I have to find a way to fix this, our lives depend on it. I never thought the answer would come in such a way.

*

“Anna! Wake up! Anna!”

I bolt up at the desk, scattering letters and reports as Kai shakes me roughly and one look at his face stops any grumblings. I jump to my feet.

“What’s wrong?”

“The ships are on fire!”

“What!?” I spin around to the window and all breath leaves my lungs. At night it’s impossible to see the ships stuck in the ice but now I can see every single one. They are blazing. I race from the room, speeding past Kai and run as fast as I can towards the fjord. The entire town lines the wall and I have to struggle to get through but when I do the heat from the burning ships smacks me in the face, even at this distance. I move onto the ice, where a small group is gathered, Hans amongst them. I wonder why he didn’t wake me but this thought is pushed aside when an odd groaning noise rents the air.

“The ice is cracking!” The crows gasp and then a strange cheer goes up. I slip and slide over to Hans who grabs my hand and pulls me to his side.

“How has this happened?!”

“We think it must have been the fuel. The ice cutter’s sleds connected all the ships and then the fuel caught one and the rest….” He doesn’t have to continue. I can see sleds burning between the ships and some distance away a gang of ice cutters watch the fire with blank looks. An awful swooping feeling starts in my stomach and it only gets worse when one of them spots me and comes forward with an angry expression.

“Do you have any idea how much we’ve lost?!” he shouts, a big blonde man and I feel so small. I can only stutter an apology.

“I - I’ll do everything I can -”

“You can’t do anything! No one can do anything!” he shouts and the others pull him back as Hans steps in front of me.

“You will not address the queen like that,” he warns and the blonde man scoffs, even as his eyes swim with tears.

“It’s okay, it’s okay…” I whisper desperately as the flames burn higher and deep booming noises shake the air as the ice cracks.

“We better get off the ice,” Hans says and I nod. The ice is melting; the ships are free…to sink. I stuff a glove into my mouth to stop myself laughing hysterically and turn away from people staring at me. Eyes watering I notice that a few ships are untouched by fire and then suddenly movement catches my eye. Someone is out on the ice!

I don’t think, I just run. The wind snaps at my face, a mix of snow and ash that gets into my eyes and down my throat. I cough and finally see that the person on the ice isn’t a person at all. It’s a reindeer.

“Sven!” a voice roars behind me but I don’t look back. If I do I’ll see how far I’ve got and I’ll freeze. I slow as the ice creaks under me and thin cracks appear. The reindeer bleats in fear, his silver bells jingling madly, and I throw up my hands as I approach. The beast stands near a sled and I can see its reins are tangled up in the ropes.

“You poor thing. It’s okay, I’m gonna free you…just don’t kick me or anything okay?” I take a step and then go flying when someone bangs into me from behind. I look up to see the rude ice cutter hastily untying the reindeer, which seems to be crying now. I get to my feet, slipping and sliding, and help the man pull the scared reindeer away from the sled.

“Come on Sven! Come boy!” he says and his voice shakes. Whoever he is he clearly cares about Sven.

“Yeah come on Sven. I promise I’ll give you a carrot if you move. A crate full!”

“Hear that buddy? Come on, that’s it. Good boy,” he says and Sven starts to walk and I move back, leaving it to him. Once the reindeer starts moving he practically flies over the ice and the ice cutter jumps onto his back and just like that they’re gone.

“Well, you’re welcome!” I turn to the shore and I feel my legs going weak. It’s a long way back. The ice cutter looks back at me and I think he tries to turn Sven around and come back for me. Or maybe that’s what I hope. As the reindeer reaches land and disappears into the trees, my husband rushes towards me.

“Anna!” Hans yells as the ice cracks and booms like thunder under me and I’m running before fear stops me. He’s only a few feet away, his arms outstretched. Just a few more paces and I’ll be safe. He takes a step back, throwing his arms out for balance as the ice cracks under my feet and spreads towards him.

“Hans!”

“Don’t move!” he shouts, his eyes flicking between my face and the ice. As more fractures appear a look of intense anger flashes over his face. “Why risk your life for a damn reindeer?!”

“I didn’t know I was!”

“But you still would have run out here even if you had!” he accuses and I know he’s right but I don’t want him to be angry with me, not now.

“I’m scared,” I whisper and he nods, exhaling.

“I know I’m sorry. It’s okay…On the count of three jump to me and then we’re gonna run as fast as we can. Okay?”

I nod and bend my knees when the ice suddenly splits between us, making me fall back hard. Freezing water rushes over my feet and I scrabble to stay on the ice, rising on my hands and knees. Hans, his face pale, is now even further away but safe.

“Get back!” I shout but he remains standing there. “Hans you have to get off the ice! I can’t get to you. I – I’ll find another way!” My heart races, blood pumps through my body and I am terrified but never more alive. I want to live. I want  _him_  to live more.

Hans stares down at me and something strange happens. He shuts down. As if all the emotion, the feeling and love that makes him a person suddenly falls away like water down a drain and he stares at me hollowly. He nods, turns and begins to walk away. The ice tips and I jump further back, trying to find a piece that isn’t disintegrating but it’s all splitting apart around me.

“I love you!” the words burst from my lips and he stops suddenly, his shoulders hunching and his hands slowly curling into fists. “Tell Elsa I’m sorry! Hans…I’m so happy I met you. So happy…” I can’t carry on, my throat tight with tears. Hans takes another step away, his head lowering and then he suddenly spins around and jumps over the gulf in the ice to me.

“What are you doing?” I scream, eyes blinded by tears as he boldly grabs me and starts running towards the sled.

“You think I’d leave you?” he yells, sounding so angry and I don’t know why. He pulls me along but it’s not the sled were heading towards, it’s the ship. The only one not touched by the fire.

“You genius!”

“I have my moments!” He lifts me up, I grab a ladder that’s slung over the side of the ship, and as fast as my legs and arms will allow me I climb. Breathing heavily I slip over the banister and collapse into the deck and Hans falls onto his side beside me.

“We’re alive!” I shout and then shout it again at the top of my lungs and begin to laugh wildly as the stars twinkle down. I stop when he suddenly grabs me and turns my face to his. For a second his eyes sear with a rage I’ve never seen but then he kisses me, with a rough possessiveness that makes my blood burn and I kiss him back with the same ferociousness. He rolls on top of me, his hands pulling up my skirts and I hastily unlace his breaches as he kisses my mouth sore. I think we’ve both lost our minds and it is bliss. Stocking clad legs exposed to the air he thrusts into me in one quick movement before fumbling for my hands and pinning them against the deck. I lace my fingers through his and hook my ankles over his back, knees bent back as far as possible. He pounds into me hard and fast, until I scream loudly into the night air for anyone to hear. I don’t care.

“You - you didn’t leave me! I knew you wouldn’t,” I breathe and he gazes down at me, saying nothing until he starts to gasp and I throw my head back, my muscles seizing with pleasure as an orgasm waves through me. He stiffens, grasping my thigh as he comes and bites against my shoulder before collapsing against me.

“You’re mine,” he pants against my chest, pulling me tighter against him. I stroke his hair as the ships around us burn into embers and sink to the depths of the fjord.


	4. Chapter 4

Within the next few days the guests who had come for my sister’s coronation boarded the only ships that had not burned and finally sailed away. It has only taken three months and a dozen sunken ships but finally they were going home. They promise to send aid but I think some probably didn’t even look back, in case they invite the snow and ice with them. The Duke of Weasle Town was the first to leave, conveniently.

“I know that little man was behind it,” I whisper to myself, staring out at the lake now mostly free of ice. Luckily the ship that Hans sailed here on is untouched, his things safe. Hans is checking the finances for the month, something he does a lot better than me. It’s good for him to have things to do, to have a purpose and he’s told me as much. I just want him to be as happy as possible under the present circumstances. Tomorrow I hope to make him as happy as can be...

Mist lies over the mountains, obscuring the peaks and I wonder what Elsa is doing. Is she bored? Lonely? I know she’s had years to perfect being alone but at least I annoyed her by speaking through the door. Maybe she’s met someone, some mountain man or woman. I hope so. It’s her choice to be up there but I just can’t stand thinking she’s lonely. Better to think she spends all her days building snowmen and throwing snowballs. All the things we never did.

“Your majesty?” A brittle voice breaks into my thoughts and I turn to see Hans' old valet. The man is tall and thin, white haired. He reminds me of a heron, all still and grey. How long would he last on one leg? Not long. I didn’t even know he could speak until a few days ago. At first I actually thought Hans dressed himself but that’s silly. He’s royalty, he has a valet. Even creepy ones.

“Jean! Did you get it?” He might unnerve me a little but his heart appears in the right place. Tomorrow is Hans' birthday, something my husband failed to mention to me. If Jean had not let it slip I’m sure Hans would have just let the day pass without a word. Jean is now my partner in crime, helping me arrange the day for Hans. Under different circumstances I would give my husband a day that he will never forget but it would be selfish when people are cold and dying, _especially_   so soon after our wedding. Their loyalty is on a knife-edge, I can feel it and I don’t want to be the one to topple it over.

We descend to Hans’ quarters to lay out the final plans for tomorrow. Me and Hans spent the day in here, after almost drowning but I haven’t really had the chance to explore. Not that I’m snooping, I just want to look at a place that is totally his. One day I would love to go to the Southern Isle. One day…

“I’m still not sure what to get him,” I grumble, slumping down into a chair as Jean stands upright, hands clasped behind his back.

“I’m sure Prince Hans will be more than happy with the cake currently being prepared,” he says smoothly and I lean forward.

“You can’t just have cake! You need presents too. Tell me, what sort of things would he like? What’s been his favourite present in the past?”

Jean blinks and this time he looks like an owl, a surprised one. The usual unruffled valet frowns, hands clasping and unclasping until he stares at me intently. “His horse I suppose but he purchased Sitron himself.”

“Oh…nothing else?”

“Well, to be frank this is a delicate matter and I’m not sure the prince would appreciate me voicing it,” he answers stiffly and I stand. What is he talking about?

“Please, I’m sure it will be okay. I’m his wife, I just want to get him something special.”

“That’s the problem you see, he’s never had a gift in his life,” the elderly man confesses and his civil mask slips, revealing a genuine sorrow. I feel like someone is crushing my heart.

“Nothing?”

“Not one. I would overstep my role sometimes, when he was a child but he would refuse any presents. He saw it as pity.”

“That’s awful, poor Hans,” tears tighten my throat, blurring my vision and Jean gently pats my hand and leads me back to my seat. I know from the small things that Hans has said about his family that he often felt left out but I never thought it was so bad. Even Elsa would give me presents, in her own way. It just makes my resolve harder. “I’ll give him the best gift ever.”

“Your majesty I feel assured that being here, having been blessed with this life, is all the gift he could want. And,” he adds with a rare smile, “the fact that you remembered at all.”

I nod, twisting the gold wedding ring on my finger. “He managed to give me this beautiful ring and other things. It’s only right I do the same.”

“Of course. It is a family heirloom, a great aunt’s I believe. He came well prepared,” Jean says offhandedly and turns to leave. I watch him go before staring at the ring, watching the gold glow in the sunshine. His words come back to me faintly but the more I think on them the louder they become.

“Well prepared?”

Why would he bring a wedding ring with him to a coronation?

 

*

 

I feel bad but it will be worth it. I’ve spent the whole morning and afternoon pretending it’s just another day and if he’s upset or hurt? He doesn’t show it. I think he honestly doesn’t expect anything and so that disappointment doesn't exist. If it was me? I’d be unable to keep my mouth shut and if that didn’t work I’d end up making my own presents and just pretend they’re from other people. Sad I know.

I watch a group of courtiers pass as night settles and I hide behind a tapestry as Hans finally emerges. He's tired, his tie loose, his collar open, and I wonder what they have been talking about but as he passes my hiding place I stop thinking and creep out. He’s taller than I am so I climb onto a chaise lounge, judge the distance and jump on him. I misjudge.

“Ow!” He yells, banging into the opposite wall as I try to stay on his back.

“Sorry! I mean guess who!?” I scrabble for purchase and place my hands over his eyes. He straightens, arms hiking up my legs so I stop slipping. He hums.

“Gerda?”

“Ha!”

“Cook? You know this can’t keep happening, it’s just not proper.”

“Guess again…” I smile into his hair and place my cheek against his. He grins, inhaling.

“Could it be that beautiful woman I almost knocked over with my horse?”

“ _Almost_? I still have bruises! But you may be right,” I whisper primly into his ear and he chuckles as I remove my hands. He spins me around and I laugh, clinging on for dear life. As he comes to a stumbling stop he sighs.

“What are you doing?”

“It’s a surprise, you’ll see,” I tease and dig my heels twice against his thighs. “Onwards.” I wrap my arms around his shoulders as he walks back towards our wing. I can only see the side of his face so I don’t know if he suspects. He must. When we reach our chambers I slip from his back but place my hands over his eyes again.

“No peeking!” with some difficulty I get the doors open and steer him inside, making sure he keeps his eyes closed. I remove my hands and step aside, practically quivering with excitement. I feel like bursting as he finally opens his eyes. Candles fill the room, illuminating the huge cake and the multitude of presents others and I have spent hours wrapping.

He blinks, mouth slowly falling open as he takes in the sight and I ball my fists up under my chin, unable to take it anymore. “Twenty two presents! And the cake is lemon flavoured, your favourite! I couldn’t decide on a gift but why just stop with one? So I spent the last few days getting as many as I could. Some I made so you know sorry in advance but I thought -”

He cuts me off abruptly by picking me up and kissing me until all the air is gone. When he puts me back down I feel light headed. He stares at me in amazement, hands cupping my face.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why twenty two gifts?”

“Why not? You deserve it!” I lead him forward, towards the cake and push him into a chair. I place the first gift on his lap and watch him unwrap it nervously. He seems to be holding his breath, his muscles tense. Pulling the ribbons free he sees what is inside and audibly sighs, relaxing before he pulls a baby’s rattle out of the box. He blinks and swallows convulsively as small silver bells tinkle. As he starts to look choked with emotion every doubt and worry I had crashes down on me.

“I’m sorry. Is this crass? I just wanted you to have all the presents you should have had!”

“Are – are you…?” he’s unable to continue and I stare at the rattle and then it finally dawns on me. Blood rushes to my face and I gasp.

“No! Oh my god! No, I’m sorry. I – I mean I don’t think so. The rattle is for you! Your first gift, you know…” I ramble, feeling like my insides are on fire when he exhales, starting to laugh.

“Anna…”

“I guess that would be a nice present huh?” I smile, face burning and he nods, smiling. I’ve thought about children of course, I want to have a child in the future but not until the snow is gone, whenever that will be…Hans gazes at me for a long time, like he’s lost or dreaming before he looks at the other presents on the bed. He’s probably thinking of snow and babies too.

“I just never expected this. Did Jean tell you?” he asks, putting the rattle down as I nod. He stares down, not speaking for a long time before he picks up the toy again. “I had toys but they were hand me downs, which isn’t unexpected with twelve older siblings. But after awhile I guess they forgot. I just got lost in the parade of other birthdays…”

“I’m sorry,” I whisper, sitting down on the arm of the chair and bending down to kiss his cheek.

“But when I got a little older some of my brothers took notice. I’m not sure how they knew. Maybe Jean told them, hoping they’d remember I guess. They did one year. I woke to these boxes, wrapped in velvet ribbons. They had tags on them…they were all from my parents. I was so happy but wary, I knew it could be a trick but I was a child, I couldn’t help myself,” he shakes his head, his jaw set and I take his hand.

“Was there something horrible in it? Toads? Bugs?” That seems the sort of cruel trick his brothers would play. I can’t believe I wanted them to come to our wedding.

“I untied the ribbons, lifted the lid and pulled out the tissue paper to reveal…nothing. It was empty. I knew the others were empty too but I couldn’t throw them away without checking, _one_ of them might have been from them…” he finishes, his gaze unfocused and while his mouth is curled into a strange half smile his eyes are blazing. Reproach for them or himself I cannot know. The tears that choked me earlier return and they fall down my cheeks.

“I’m so sorry, no one deserves that. _You_ didn’t deserve that,” I cup his face and kiss him hard on the mouth and when I pull back he licks the salt tears from his lips. “Every single one of these boxes has something in them, even if they are kinda silly.”

“I love you,” he cups my face and kisses my forehead before rising. I take the rattle from him as he stops before the cake. “I think I’m gonna blow out my candles now.”

“Remember to make a wish on every one!” I shake the rattle gently at him as he closes his eyes, inhales and blow out his first flame to the sound of bells.

I wonder what he wishes for…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. I hope to have this updated fairly regularly. Thanks for reading!


	5. Chapter 5

“Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Prepare…” I run my thumb over the smooth band on my finger as the wind howls outside. The storm has been battering us for days, I haven’t seen the sun. I don’t know what day it is. The lake froze again, of course. At least the ships are free. Most are probably home by now, warm and happy. They docked Hans’ ship by the harbour, so it’s no longer isolated and stuck. Well it is stuck but he doesn’t seem to mind.

I take my wedding ring off and inspect the inner band. It’s engraved with our initials on one side and a weathered set on the other. His great aunt and uncle. That’s not what bothers me. Under our engraving the gold is thin, as if it had been smoothed down, like something had been buffed off. Strange…A prickly sensation runs up my arms and a squirming feeling sits in my stomach. I’ve been feeling a little off lately…

“Maybe many Westergards' have been married with this ring before Hans got it. It’s not a big deal…” I slip the ring back on and sit back with a sigh. I think up perfectly reasonable explanations but this writhing feeling in my stomach won’t go away. I’m not sure why I feel so…on edge but since Jean told me Hans arrived in Arendelle with the ring I just can’t stop myself. This is not me. I know our life is less than perfect but Hans? He is everything I ever dreamed of and more and he doesn’t deserve…whatever this is.

It’s the snow and freezing conditions, I’m going stir crazy being cooped up. I grab my furs, throw the hood over my head and step out into the gardens. The wind smacks me in the face as soon as I get outside, trying to push my hood down but I keep it up. It’s cold and my nose will fall off if I spend more than a few minutes out here but I feel like all the stuffiness is being blown out of me. The garden is now just large hillocks of snow where bushes and benches once were but as I move closer to what was the fountain I see something well…perfectly normal.

A snowman.

It’s small, with sticks for arms but that’s it. He has no eyes, buttons or even a nose.

“Poor guy, someone made you in a hurry huh?” I bend down, wondering who could have made him. The children leave no snowman untouched; none survive their angry assaults so this one is very lucky indeed. I stare at him, hands on hips and he’s such a pitiful figure that I just can’t leave him unfished. Ten minutes later, gloved hands covered in coal dust and bits of straw caught in my furs, I push a half-eaten carrot into the snow and step back.  The nose gives him character.

“You look perfect! You’re the last of your kind Mr Snowman but don’t worry, I’ll protect you,” I pat his head gently and turn, feeling a contentment that I haven’t felt in weeks and look up at the palace. Hans is watching me from a window. I wave at him but then lower my hand when he doesn’t move. He’s not looking at me, his eyes are fixed on the snowstorm emitting from the mountain. Have you ever wondered what people look like when they’re alone, with no one to see them? People are at their most vulnerable, their most open because there is no need to hide. He stares at the mountain with intense calculation, like someone staring down at game on a board. Invested but…detached.

Impulsively I throw a piece of coal at the window and it bangs loudly against the glass, making him jump back in shock. Looking down the cold look on his face is gone and a playful smile beams down at me. It’s so happy, so amused that I start to doubt what I had seen at all. I forget all about it until days later after I pass the window he stood at. Fine hairline fractures shatter the glass pane where the coal had struck it and every time I pass now I can’t stop staring. That look on his face. For just a moment it wasn’t him but a stranger staring up at that mountain. I wonder how long he stood there before I saw him…

I wish Elsa were here, she’d tell me I think too much. 

 

*

 

“Are you okay?”

I look up from the letter in my hand to see Hans shaking off his winter cloak. Snowflakes melt in his hair and he leaves wet footprints on the floor as he approaches. I shake my head, smiling and lean up to kiss him.

“Just busy. This came today; an ally is sending ships. They should be here in a week or so.”

“That’s fantastic news!” He grins, taking a seat by my desk. It is great news but why does it only fill me with trepidation? Icebreaker ships will come in time and if people want to leave then I won’t stop them but what then? Hans sees the worry on my face and leans forward, taking my hands. “What is it?”

“I was just thinking, daydreaming really. I imagine the ships coming, breaking the ice to make a passage. They bring us food, clothing and more. Then they leave and come back, leave and come back, leave…” I trail off, staring at him and he squeezes my fingers.

“They won’t abandon us, they’re our allies.”

“But for how long?”

“The snow won’t last forever Anna,” he says with utter faith and something squeezes my insides. Snow falls softly outside now, the winds eased.

“I pray for it to melt, to wake up to warm sunlight on my skin but I also dread it. If…if we all woke up one day it was just gone what would that mean for Elsa?” That is something that keeps me awake, that makes me stare at the mountain and feel at peace to see snow swirling around it. If it’s there then so is my sister.

“I think if that happened it would mean your sister grasped control over her…abilities. It would be a day to rejoice,” he says with a sweet smile and he means it. He never really got to know Elsa, just said a few passing words. I would love it if we could all be together, do normal things like sit at a table and enjoy a meal but that won’t ever happen, not when we’re separated by a wall of ice.

“I can’t spend another day like this. I want to send a convey to her again. I want to speak to her,” I say firmly and he’s shaking his head, hands tightening around mine. He’s cold.

“You know she made it clear that she doesn’t want to be disturbed. That…beast she has on guard attacks any that comes too close.”

“She wouldn’t hurt me. We can’t just sit here and hope that it will just go away anymore, our kingdom won’t last and you know it. I’m not just speaking as her concerned sister but as the queen. We can wait but the more we wait the more will people suffer. We have to try again,” I sit straighter, staring at him intently.

The concerned look in his eyes darkens and after a pause, he nods. “You’re right. The treasury is sparse, to put it lightly, and soon we’ll be eating hay. The people…well you know,” he sighs, rubbing at his eyes and I lean across and kiss his forehead.

“Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. If you weren’t here I don’t know what I would do. Arendelle would be in so much trouble, I know that. You’re…incredible, like god put you in my path,” I say and he actually blushes. Laughing he takes my hands again and kisses my knuckles.

“Just doing my job…but I couldn’t do this without you,” he presses his lips against mine before chuckling. “We should both thank Sitron for almost trampling you.”

“We should! He was sorrier than you were. Even now he can barely look me in the eye,” I joke and stand up. All the blood suddenly goes to my head and I stagger, feeling woozy. “Oooh.”

“Are you okay? Sit down,” he says in concern and places me back down in the chair, getting down on a knee.

“I’m okay. Too long reading letters without enough light. I’m okay,” I repeat when he looks unconvinced. I tug at his shirt, something that he brought with him. I tilt my head, thinking and he cocks an eyebrow.

“What is it?”

“It’s nothing really…It’s just that you originally came to the coronation bringing your horse, all your clothes and books. This ring…” I lift it up and he stares at it. His face is still, giving nothing away until he looks up and catches my eye. He smiles.

“You think it’s peculiar?”

“No! Well, a little. You brought an engagement ring with you…” I gaze at him, hoping I don’t look apprehensive.

“I did because I hoped to marry,” he confides and smiles brightly. “I just never imagined I would meet that woman on the very day I arrived. I brought all my things with me for the simple reason I wasn’t going back.”

“You weren’t going to return to the Southern Isles? But what about your family?”

“I doubt they even realise I’m gone,” he says without a trace of self-pity. “This is my home Anna, I always planned for it to be. Meeting you was just…luck.”

“It was fate,” I correct and he nods, smiling. I fiddle with the ring, unable to stop myself. As we’re on the subject I might as well know everything. I slip it off. “I noticed something odd with the engraving. See?”

He brings it up to his eyes, turning the gold band in the light and nods, sighing. “I hoped you wouldn’t notice. The engravers made a mistake with your initials, got them back to front if I recall. Got it fixed before the wedding.”

“Ooh! Well that would have been awkward,” I laugh and all the nonsensical worrying and paranoia fades away, leaving a strange shameful relief in its absence. What was I so worked up about? He takes my hand and slowly slips the ring back on, his expression serious. I frame his face with my hands. “You are perfect.”

He sighs and slumps, as if carrying a burden. “I know.”

 

*

The ship arrives one grey morning, snow threatening to fall but thankfully withholding. I wish I could do the same.

I press my forehead against the cold carriage window and groan. Two mornings in a row I’ve eaten porridge and without fail I’ve been unable to keep it down. Everything else I’m fine with, just breakfast. It’s likely spoiled, food is starting to go bad, but when you’re hungry you’ll eat anything. There have been cases of villagers getting sick and I’m probably one of them. Great.

“Anna? You look pale,” Gerda comments and I laugh, opening my eyes. We’re on our way to the harbour to meet the ships. Hans is already there.

“I've been so busy I haven't had time for sunbathing! Gotta do something about that," I giggle but there's a tiredness in her gaze she's trying to hide. The grey clouds and lack of sunlight sucks the joy out of you. I take her hand. "I’ll be okay once we get out.”

Gerda thins her lips but says nothing. Less people than I expected are at the waterfront when we arrive. Maybe they’re still in bed, maybe it’s just too cold. Maybe they don’t care. Hans said the less people the better, to avoid people scrabbling for supplies. This way we can get an intake and distribute it evenly.

We hear the ship before we see it. From the sea rumblings like thunder sounds but soon that noise intensifies as the ice groans and cracks. I hate that sound, it makes my heart pound and I jump as every boom happens. As a ship appears I clap along with everyone else, joining in with their celebrations. The big icebreaker ploughs into the fjord and in its wake a single ship follows. My stomach falls.

“Just one?”

My question goes unanswered as both ships cast anchor and a boat is lowered into the water. Time to greet our deliverers. As the boat reaches the harbour Hans comes to my side, taking my gloved hand.

“Morning. You’re up late.”

“I know. I think the oats are bad. I keep – oh look! They've come bearing gifts,” I smile, hand against my twisting stomach. “Should we have gifts too?”

“Do we know where they’re coming from?” he asks, ignoring my question.

“The Western Isles. I’m surprised you don’t know, seeing as they’re your neighbour,” I move to greet the captain of the ship, a tall handsome man with a dark moustache. The commander, an elderly man with a white beard, looks more like he should be in charge. I hope I haven’t made a mistake. They bow to me, something that is getting easier to accept, and I turn to introduce Hans and find him frozen. I offer my hand, smiling and he blinks rapidly and comes forward as if nothing had happened.

The commander greets Hans with formal politeness, shaking his hand but the younger captain just gives the stiffest nod of his head, bows to me deeply and then turns to shout orders. I glance at Hans as he escorts the commander to the palace. If he’s offended he doesn’t show it.

“Your majesty?” The rude officer says, waiting for me and I walk over to him, trying to keep my face blank.

“I didn’t catch your name.”

“Captain Darling, your majesty,” he replies glancing at me and then back at the ship. It’s like he can’t look me in the face. I know they say people from the Western Isle are reserved but this is ridiculous.

“Well thank you for coming to our aid. It’s a blessing.”

He actually smiles. “The Duke of Weselton informed the king as soon as his ship reached our shores. We could not leave such a long standing ally in peril,” he says and actually means it. All the bad things I ever said about the Duke comes back to me and I flush with shame. The man might be insufferable but he does have a heart.

“Well the whole of Arendelle is indebted to you. Please, you must be cold and tired,” I motion to the palace and he looks up at it with a strange expression. “Prince Hans has worked tirelessly to make sure you’re all comfortable during your stay. We thought more would come but oh well…” I say, walking to my carriage. Captain Darling’s mouth curls at the mention of Hans’ name. I stop, frowning openly and the Captain looks shamed.

“Forgive me. I mean you no insult and I am grateful for all the effort you have made on our behalf. I just…” he struggles to speak, his hands ringing and I move closer to him.

“What is it?”

He stares at me with such torment that my heart goes out to him. Whatever is troubling him is serious and seems to be about Hans. I nod towards my carriage and he follows after a pause. Gerda is visiting the town and Hans and commander are gone. No one will overhear. As we sit opposite each other and the carriage begins to move a silence settles, an awkward one. The man can’t seem to open his mouth and looks at anything but me. Maybe some small talk.

“I hear the Western Isles is beautiful. I’ve never been but I’d love to one day. See the palace in the city, the river…”

“Yes, it has many worthwhile places to visit…starting to get cold now. Though nothing like this…” he smiles awkwardly, his long thin legs cramped in the small space between us.

“The leaves didn’t even turn gold before this happened,” I say, waving my hand at the window.

“Well, saves the raking I suppose…” Another silence begins. This is so awkward, why is this happening to me? I swallow, plucking at my skirts and he takes his gloves off. A wedding ring glints in the low light.

“You’re married?” I ask and he looks down at his hand and smiles softly.

“Yes. Two years now. We have a son…” he lowers his hand and sighs, sitting back. He gazes at me sombrely. “As you know my home is close to the Southern Isle, closer than Arendelle. My wife is from there, was…” he trails off and winces. “This is a delicate matter and it’s hard for me to voice.”

“If it makes you feel uncomfortable then please don’t.”

“I must because it concerns you. Oh the things you don’t know…” he sighs, shaking his head and all the doubt and worry I have had begin to swirl around my chest. He leans forward again. “The Westergards are a respected family for the most part but, and forgive me for saying this, feckless. With such a large family each one further from the throne strives to make a life.”

“Like Hans,” I say gently and he nods, that snarl back on his mouth. I’m so confused.

“You don’t like him, why?”

He reaches into his coat and brings out a small gold plated painting and shows me a portrait of a beautiful woman with long dark hair. “This is Ingrid, my wife. Her father was a duke, a thrifty one so they gave the impression of sustained wealth but it wasn’t so. Everyone thought Ingrid would inherit a great fortune and so she had many suitors. She rebuffed them, not out of superiority but because she was so shy,” he smiles fondly and I can see the love for her is pure and fierce. “She was an innocent, naïve really but that did not last.”

He stares at the picture sadly and that feeling whirling around my chest moves up around my throat. “What happened?”

“She met Hans Westergard,” he answers plainly. “It took him time to win her over, like I said she was shy but within a few weeks they announced their engagement. She was overjoyed, she thought she had met someone… _perfect_ …but she soon learned that wasn’t the case. He manipulated her, made her think he loved her but once he found out she had no fortune or rising position he left her without a word, left her ruined…It was hushed up and he left the Southern Isles, joined the navy. She’s never seen him since.”

“I – I think you must have him confused with someone else, ma – maybe one of his brothers,” I speak through lips that hardly move, a throat that threatens to strangle me. This is impossible, he’s clearly mistaken.

“That would be an easy mistake to make, yes. His brothers are infamous for their womanising and gambling but I am not wrong. Ingrid wasn’t the first and she’s clearly not the last,” he says, motioning to me sadly. I feel sick, I can’t breathe. My husband with a string of broken hearts behind him? It’s unthinkable.

“No, you’re wrong! I don’t know what you think you’re doing but stop!” I stand, banging on the carriage roof, not realising that we had already stopped. I stumble for the handle and fall ungracefully into the snow. We’re before the palace.

“Your majesty!” Captain Darling cries out, trying to help me up but I push him away. I breathe like a bellows, steaming up the cold air. I want to run, to forget his story but I can’t. Did the ring on my finger once sit on the girl’s in the portrait?

“No! He would have told me something this big. You’re a liar!”

“Why would I lie? Why would I risk my reputation and that of my wife’s? I don’t mean to cause you pain but once I heard who the queen of Arendelle was married to I battled with my conscious the whole way here. I could not leave this unsaid. I’m sorry, truly but you deserve to know who it is you have married.”

“I know who that is…I _know_ …” I turn from him, from his wounded, pitying eyes and stumble up the steps and into the palace. Snow no longer hindering my path I race down the hallway, sobs beginning to wrack my chest. I tear off my cloak, hat and gloves, leaving them on the ground like a trail to follow.

“Hans? HANS? HANS!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dundundun!
> 
> The Western Isles in this story is Britain, if that ain't obvious lol. I imagine Tom Mison as Cap Darling. Yup.
> 
> Hans got some explaining to do...


	6. Chapter 6

“Anna? What’s wrong?”

I stop and stare up at him, heart pounding against my ribcage. I had run all the way to our wing, snowflakes trailing after me when they should melt, and took the spiral staircase two at a time. Now he’s looking down at my from the top of the stairs in concern I can’t move, can’t speak. Does he look any different? Should he? He tilts his head, takes a step down and the hands fisting my skirts loosen.

“I heard – heard something awful, something ridiculous,” I stutter and he frowns, taking another step down. “It's about you but I know it can't be true!” 

He pauses, face unchanging, and draws his foot back up a step. “About me?” he asks, looking deeply confused. I can only nod, licking my lips, which are cold and very dry. He tilts his head again, gazing at me carefully. “I’m fine…but I guess, judging by the look on your face, you weren't worried about me...”

His words have no weight on this issue but they still make me feel guilty, as if I don’t care about him. How is that possible? “The Captain told me something, something that’s completely unbelievable. He – he said that…that…” I can’t continue. I just want him to come to me, take me in his arms and make me forget all this. He does not move and neither do I.

“What Anna?” his voice is low and soft, like always, but now strained. I shake my head and force myself to speak through a tight throat.

“He said you were once engaged, that you left a woman ruined,” my voice is barely heard but he stiffens, inhales sharply and freezes. I don’t breathe, the tension between us taut and terrible until he suddenly exhales and his shoulders slump in a strange relief. I breathe with him, as if we’re one.

“Oh Anna…” he sighs, staring at me sadly and I want to close my eyes, ignore the look and what it means but it’s impossible.

“No…you – you would never do something like that,” I say weakly and take hold of the banister, finally turning away from him. I only know he’s beside me when I feel the soft glide of his gloved fingers against my arm.

“What exactly were you told?” his voice is even, soothing and when I look into his eyes I expect to see his usual composure but it’s gone. He looks like a wounded thing, oddly young.

“That you were engaged to a girl but once you found out she had no money you ran,” I say and the immediate anger in his eyes is like a liferaft.

“That’s not what happened,” he says passionately and I exhale. Of course it’s not. Hans takes my hands in his and gazes at me intensely.

“I knew he was lying!”

“He...he has his facts mixed up. There are things I should have told you, things that I’ve been too ashamed to utter but – but I can’t keep this from you any longer. I pray that you’ll believe me, that you’ll forgive me... and I hope that you’ll trust what I have to say more than a man you’ve just met.”

“Of course!” I urge and grip his hands tightly in mine. He smiles weakly in relief.

“It’s true that I was engaged, to a girl called Ingrid. I – I acted rashly, I was eighteen and thought I was in love but I wasn’t. You have to understand that I was under immense pressure, being the youngest in my family that forgot I even existed. I – I just wanted to belong somewhere.”

"But the girl..." I can't help it, I picture myself as her and all the anguish she must have felt. I shake my head and he tightens his  hands around mine, a desperate light in his eyes.

"My behaviour is inexcusable, I know that, but if anyone can understand how lonely a life of alienation is it's you. I - I mistook kindness for love...I didn't want to be alone anymore but I couldn't live a lie," his eyes lower to the ground, eyes swimming with pain.

“I understand,” I whisper, my heart aching for him, for his past…and yet the ring on my finger seems to burn. I’m eighteen, am I too young to know my own heart as he seems to think he was?

“The engagement lasted only a few days, not long enough for anyone else to know but her immediate family. I realised the mistake I made and I panicked, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t have the heart to tell her so I – I ran away in the night, boarded a ship,” he looks over my head, his gaze far away but they begin to burn with self-reproach as he finally looks at me. “It’s the most cowardly thing I’ve ever done and my darkest secret.”

His hands slip from mine and fall to his sides. He looks miserable but oddly dull, like confessing has drained the life from him. Tears sting my eyes and I shake my head again, biting the inside of my mouth. My emotions are so wild, so numerous that I don't know what is pricking my eyes. 

 “I can’t believe this. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I never wanted to see the look that’s on your face now,” he turns away, head lowering and I reach out to touch him, comfort him but hesitate. She was deserted but the word _ruin_ has a dark, ambiguous power to it and my mind keeps throwing up awful wild possibilities, like mushrooms after rain. Not that long ago I used to get a thrill out of stories of ruination but never imagined I would be part of one. I lower my hand to my stomach, now in painful knots.

“How could you do something so…”

“Shameful?”

“Heartless. You never spoke to her again, you just left…Could – could you do that to me?”

“Never!” he turns and takes hold of my shoulders. The dullness that had settled over him like a cloak is now blazing. “I love you! I would never leave you.”

“I know,” I whisper weakly, tears falling as I remember how he came back for me on the ice…after turning his back on me, after walking away. I don’t know what to think, what to cling to. “I ran here praying that you would deny it, that I was overreacting and that he was a liar. I thought I knew all there was to know about you…I thought you were the most honourable man I had ever met.”

“I’m sorry to shatter that image,” he says with soft latent bitterness and something in me prickles. Have I painted him as something he’s not? I know no one is perfect but has he been labouring to reach a standard I imagined him to be? The very thought is exhausting. He lifts my chin, previous bitterness gone. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s not me you should apologise to,” I slip around him and move up the stairs with leaden feet. He takes hold of my arm gently, stopping me.

“What I did was shameful and I’ve had to live with the guilt ever since but I did not leave her because she had no wealth. If that were the case I would have left Arendelle long ago and you know it. I’m here because of _you_ and there is nowhere else on this earth I want to be.”

I gaze into his fiercely sincere eyes, knowing what he says is nothing but reason. He could get on a ship and leave this place to its fate but he never has. It has been a token of his love, of his commitment because who in their right minds would stay with me if even a fraction of their heart yearned for something easier?

“…I believe you,” at my words his muscles relax and he smiles gently. As he leans up to kiss me I press my fingers to his lips. “I think I need some time, just to sort my thoughts out. It – it’s a shock,” I try to smile at him, to soften the blow and he takes it gallantly. Or seems to.

“Of course, I understand. I’ll leave you alone,” he steps back, giving me space. He looks so sad, so oddly small and lost that an intense urge to wrap my arms around him engulfs me and I’m powerless against it. He stumbles back as I throw myself at him and we almost fall down the stairs before he backs against a wall. His holds me tightly and kisses my neck as I fist his hair, pulling harder than I should. I can see him picking me up, carrying me to our room and any other time I would let him but I can’t, not with this truth ringing around my head like ribbons around a pole.

“I’d never shut you out, you know that…but I meant what I said. Just a little while,” I say breathlessly as he kisses my jaw. He stares at me, his gaze glassy and lusty, red hair sticking up in all directions and he looks wild, the opposite of himself. It should excite me, to see him so but it just unsettles me for reasons I can’t look at yet. I smooth my hands against his hair and straighten his collar and he steps away, coming back to himself. I make it to the top of the stairs and look back once and the passionate man is now back to blinking at me like a lost boy. I tear my eyes away and walk as fast as I can until he’s out of sight.

I said the truth is like ribbons and right now they’re all jumbled up inside me, tangling the perfect picture I have of my husband and the more I think about it the more knotty it becomes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this written for a little while but wanted to add more scenes after the confrontation. Unfortunately I haven't had time to focus on it at the moment so I thought it best to post *something* rather than make anyone wait more than necessary.
> 
> Anywho hope this okay and I'll try to update when I can.


End file.
